Thursday, March 28, 2013

Kunadlini Rising

Tat Twam Asi -- Thou Art That


     I emerged from theSanta Barbara mountains Sunday morning a little taller, literally andmetaphorically, a lot calmer and wearing the new feather of yoga teacher in myraspberry knit cap. I have 25 practice hours I must complete and turn in beforeI receive my actual certificate, so I am now taking appointments for privateand group sessions. 

    The 16 days and 30 people weremutually magical and healing. Our teachers, Ganga and Tracey, told us on Day 1these were 16 days that would last a lifetime and I can certainly see the truthin that already.  I can tell that overtime the information will continue to sink in further while other gems willcontinue to be revealed, a revolving door of folding in and unfolding. OnSaturday after taking our practical test (which was actually not a taking, buta giving. We each taught a ten minute microcosm of a regular class) I textedRina if I could come up to Santa Ynez celebrate. I suddenly was quite verklempt and neededto share my relief, pride, and excitement with someone. As I’ve said before I’mnot sure what this training will look like in my life, but I just had theknowing that I needed to do it. I also don’t know why I’ve had such a pull todo it before heading to Brighton, but I did and the weight of having it completedis so immense it’s almost startling. I can now take a deep ujjayi breath andlook across the pond with clear focus and intent. 

     I have to say that while onemight assume that I would return bursting with unlimited upward moving energyfrom this 2 week retreat of yoga, vegetarianism to die for, nature andknowledge, I am experiencing the opposite. I am feeling the pull of downwardmoving energy or rather a grounding energy, an invitation to retreat evenfurther into myself. I felt for the first couple days that I was fighting acold, I just felt enough left of center that I took myself to bedembarrassingly early. But aside from that, as I am feeling more normal, I stillam drawn to my shell, which I realize is not an unusual place for me to live.Introspection and inward moving energy is my natural tendency, but this feelsdifferent. I feel like I’m still savoring the taste of the last 2 weeks,sipping on my new favorite drink- Teeccino herbal coffee, and digesting it all.I’m so filled up within myself that I don’t need to go any further in this moment.This is like a spiral inward, coiling myself in preparation to spring forth...Kundalini rising. Ifind myself talking less, eating less, walking quieter, just operating on a‘smaller’ scale across the board. This is probably because when we do leave forBrighton, I will have to tap into that store of upward and outward directedenergy to not only kick ass on stage but also to hopefully become magnetizedfor even more eye opening opportunities, magical possibilities, and lifechanging encounters. 
It also may have something to do with yesterday’s‘monster’ Full Moon in Libra. As you know I usually am outside somewherecelebrating the New and Full Moons with wiccan-esque glee. However, seeing ashow the last monster moon gifted me with a mysteriously furious fever during mycamping trip and left me heartbroken a week later…I was careful not to look itin the eye last night as I took an evening stroll. You roll your eyes andsmirk but we Cancers are especially affected by the moon’s energy and moods. Wegot’s to show some respect ;-)

So it is with a fine respect and a smile as I re-enter real life that I bow to you all and say,

"Namaste, Mutha Fuckas" 



Monday, March 4, 2013

March Fourth - Soldiers of Spring

** I gotta give credit of that title to my friend Steve's FB status today :-)
      This is gonna be short and sweet. With the Spring Equinox just over a couple weeks away (Wednesday March 20th) it's time to clean house both literally and figuratively. There is alot of hoopla going on astrologically, like Mercury being retrograde (beware of miscommunication, failing electronics and travel plans) till the 17th and also the recent full moon in Pisces. Right now with the way the planets are lining up it is a prime time of coming clean emotionally. Based on all the astrological reports I've been seeing the best analogy I can give is that the full Pisces moon is an invitation to the greatest party EVER with a really rad goodie bag, like serious swag ...but... with a cover charge. Apparently said cover is forgiveness...whether you need to give it or receive it. I have seen and felt this first and second hand. A friend recently received a much unexpected apology from a not so distant blast from her past. While it certainly may sting a smidge to say and also receive an 'I'm sorry' it is undoubtedly very powerful and cleansing for both parties. For me, I have a few opportunities to do this. First, I had to ask the forgiveness of my dance partner who I accidentally elbowed in the face during our Saturday performance leaving him to need stitches. {Not to mention the 10 ten people that drove the 2 1/2 hours north to support me.} I have a rather untamed ferocity on-stage which he unfortunately fell victim to during a 'fight' scene. It was obviously an accident, but I did have to pull him aside and formally ask his forgiveness making sure he still felt safe with me. I also then have to forgive myself for this force of nature tendency and learn to harness it a bit better without squashing it completely. 
And lastly, I must offer forgiveness to someone not because it has been asked for as in the case of my friend but because I need to give it. In giving it I can more fully receive it for myself so I can stop beating myself up about the situation.  I mean, not for nothin', but I got a mean left elbow and and strong right hook, just ask Kevin....And too, I want to get past the velvet rope and into this Pisces party!
    I've also read that towards the middle to end of this month there is the chance for some turbulence, out of left field-you never saw that coming kind of turbulence. How severe that turbulence actually ends up being is kind of dependent on how clear you are going into it. When you got your shit together, as much as you can, it's easier to roll with the punches. Duck and weave people! Hmmm, I'm sensing a Rocky theme here ;-)

     Take this time to look at how forgiveness is playing out or could play in your life right now. Clear out those skeletons as well as old clothes over the next few weeks.  And remember, sometimes you might never actually get the acknowledgement or 'apology' you're waiting for - forgive anyway. Surround that person and yourself with love and light. You'll feel 10lbs lighter and may not have to do that juice cleanse you were contemplating. 
    I feel very lucky to be entering my yoga teacher training this coming Saturday, the 9th and going MIA for 16 days till the 24th so I can focus entirely on myself and this new journey emerging fresh with the new season ready for the next chapter....Brighton! ...Ok, well Coachella first... then Brighton!