Tat Twam Asi -- Thou Art That
I emerged from theSanta Barbara mountains Sunday morning a little taller, literally andmetaphorically, a lot calmer and wearing the new feather of yoga teacher in myraspberry knit cap. I have 25 practice hours I must complete and turn in beforeI receive my actual certificate, so I am now taking appointments for privateand group sessions.
The 16 days and 30 people weremutually magical and healing. Our teachers, Ganga and Tracey, told us on Day 1these were 16 days that would last a lifetime and I can certainly see the truthin that already. I can tell that overtime the information will continue to sink in further while other gems willcontinue to be revealed, a revolving door of folding in and unfolding. OnSaturday after taking our practical test (which was actually not a taking, buta giving. We each taught a ten minute microcosm of a regular class) I textedRina if I could come up to Santa Ynez celebrate. I suddenly was quite verklempt and neededto share my relief, pride, and excitement with someone. As I’ve said before I’mnot sure what this training will look like in my life, but I just had theknowing that I needed to do it. I also don’t know why I’ve had such a pull todo it before heading to Brighton, but I did and the weight of having it completedis so immense it’s almost startling. I can now take a deep ujjayi breath andlook across the pond with clear focus and intent.
I have to say that while onemight assume that I would return bursting with unlimited upward moving energyfrom this 2 week retreat of yoga, vegetarianism to die for, nature andknowledge, I am experiencing the opposite. I am feeling the pull of downwardmoving energy or rather a grounding energy, an invitation to retreat evenfurther into myself. I felt for the first couple days that I was fighting acold, I just felt enough left of center that I took myself to bedembarrassingly early. But aside from that, as I am feeling more normal, I stillam drawn to my shell, which I realize is not an unusual place for me to live.Introspection and inward moving energy is my natural tendency, but this feelsdifferent. I feel like I’m still savoring the taste of the last 2 weeks,sipping on my new favorite drink- Teeccino herbal coffee, and digesting it all.I’m so filled up within myself that I don’t need to go any further in this moment.This is like a spiral inward, coiling myself in preparation to spring forth...Kundalini rising. Ifind myself talking less, eating less, walking quieter, just operating on a‘smaller’ scale across the board. This is probably because when we do leave forBrighton, I will have to tap into that store of upward and outward directedenergy to not only kick ass on stage but also to hopefully become magnetizedfor even more eye opening opportunities, magical possibilities, and lifechanging encounters.
It also may have something to do with yesterday’s‘monster’ Full Moon in Libra. As you know I usually am outside somewherecelebrating the New and Full Moons with wiccan-esque glee. However, seeing ashow the last monster moon gifted me with a mysteriously furious fever during mycamping trip and left me heartbroken a week later…I was careful not to look itin the eye last night as I took an evening stroll. You roll your eyes andsmirk but we Cancers are especially affected by the moon’s energy and moods. Wegot’s to show some respect ;-)
So it is with a fine respect and a smile as I re-enter real life that I bow to you all and say,
"Namaste, Mutha Fuckas"