Friday, July 11, 2014

33 = The Year of Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious-ness

    As we approach the Full Moon (a Super Moon nonetheless) tomorrow as well as the beginning of my Abu Dhabi birthday trip adventure, it seems fitting that I could not sleep last all! Maybe too it was the natural sugar and 'overwhelment' from the pre-birthday celebration with Tom's family where they lovingly bestowed upon me a glorious gluten free/dairy free chocolate cake and my very first Kindle! All these things combined finally brought to the forefront my thoughts and feelings surrounding the close of my 33rd chapter. 
My 33rd year has been by far the most ... magical? courageous? exciting? eye opening? frustrating? dichotomous? I wish there was a word that could sum it all up, that "even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious, if you say it loud enough you'll always sound precocious". Oh wait, there is. Hand down, 33 has been the most Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious year of my life!
     It also has been a year of two very distinct seasons; Summer and Winter...metaphorically speaking of course. Although moving from California to England could easily lend a very literal interpretation as well ;-) I went from a bustling and independent life where I juggled work during the week, rehearsal and teaching yoga on the weekends and fun with friends to a period of almost total seclusion. There was an ebb and flow with a rhythm as steady as the ocean. The momentum built from July to December and helped everything to fall effortlessly into place  to get me to the UK. Once I was here though, there was no languid "Indian Summer" or delicious "Autumn" to ease me into this new spiritual season. In fact I was welcomed with a bout of the flu my first week in. The ebb and flow seemed to have disappeared. There was no movement at all. (Granted, the House of Stark had been predicting it all along. *Insert laughter from Game of Thrones fans)
I knew by my ankle length down parka that I was embarking on this new life at the start of the English winter. I just didn't know I was also arriving at the beginning of my personal winter. For example, I figured my dismal job search was due merely to bad timing with the holidays, but once the holidays were a distant memory and still nothing had changed I stopped judging it. I keep putting my CV and applications out with the same gusto and hope though. It was about a month ago that I had this seasonal epiphany and reminded myself to just let it go and trust. Instead of imposing my ideal or vision on the situation I'm trying (trying being the operative word) to surrender and simply steep in the experience... like a nice cuppa English tea. The last seven months haven't been easy or comfortable. It hasn't been what I expected or hoped. It's OK though!
There is a reason for every season, and this one too shall pass at some point. This dream of moving to the UK was seven years in the making so after all that hustle and bustle and movement and reaping, it is clearly time to let the fields rest for a bit...maybe plant some new seeds. What do I want to focus on next? It's also a time of foundation building for Tom and I...if we can survive this year and all the ups and downs then I think we'll be ahead of the game.
    As I lay awake last night and this morning, a list of all the things I've learned or have been reminded of this year flooded my brain and I hastily scribbled them down from about 3-5:30....So in absolutely no particular order, I give you...

Things '33' has gifted me/taught me/reminded me:
  • Dreams do come true so it is imperative to pursue them!
    • I'd wanted to live in the UK since 2007, and here I am exploring new worlds, experiencing new cultures,  digging deeper into myself and learning to dance in love with a good man.
    The Universe knows what it's doing...even and especially when I don't.
    • I trust there is a reason I have yet to find a job. Maybe I needed to not only dust off, but dig out my Suzy Homemaker / Courty Crocker skills. Maybe I needed to reconnect with and develop my writing. Maybe I just needed to hibernate. “Someday, everything will make perfect sense. So for now, laugh at the confusion, smile through the tears, be strong and keep reminding your self that everything happens for a reason.” - John Mayer
  • Technology (for the most part) is awesome!
    • I've seen my mom, dad and sister more via FaceTime and Skype then I ever did when we were living in the same country! It also helps me keep my weekly dates with friends.
  • I am very American...and proud of it! (politics and ignorant assholes aside)
    • In all my travels I have never been as aware of my nationality and the American culture as I am living here.
  • I miss driving! (even if it comes with traffic)
  • I LOVE writing! And I am a good writer even if no one else recognizes it yet, .
    • I have also found my niche in Creative Non-Fiction and Personal Essay. I submitted to several contests these past seven months. I've enjoyed pushing myself to become better.
  • The 30's RULE.
    • I see people in my life navigating the middle to end of their twenties and think, "Phew! Fuck that shit!"
  • Relationship (romantic, familial, business, etc) is where our spirituality/maturity/growth and basically all the advice we spout off to other people is tested.
    • It's easy to be alone...for me anyway. It's difficult, although equally rewarding, to be in relationship.
  • I don't love the rain (as once touted)
    • I must amend my previous statement, " I love the rain when it breaks the monotony of sunshine."
  • I carpe the fuck out of the diem (as someone recently told me)
    • For as much as I tend to plan, I also just go balls to the wall sometimes. Hell, look where I am as opposed to a year ago!
  • I am a sensitive Cancer who must continue to 'Do Her Best' at the 'Not Taking Things Personally' tenet of the 4 Agreements.
    • It's hell on a relationship with someone who is also very sensitive.
  • Detachment is goooooood.
    • When I'm able to maintain a balance of detachment in ANY situation or relationship it frees me up from fear/worry about the outcome, helps me see things objectively, and keeps me in the present.
  • I am not a house-wife.
    • I like to have, make and maintain a home and all the comforts and delicacies that go along with it, but it cannot be my sole contribution or identity. I don't do well stuck at home. I have to have roots AND wings.
  • I do love cooking though. It relaxes me.
  • I'm grateful for a loving and generous partner...who also loves to travel as much as I do!
    • We've gone to Cardiff, Brussels and Prague. And we're off to Abu Dhabi tomorrow, hiking in Wales in August, and daytrips to Hamburg, Germany and Dublin, Ireland.
  • Receiving is hard for me when I feel I have nothing to give in return.
    • For example, the awesome gift from Tom's family. I felt embarrassed by the generosity because I was not in a position to give to them this year as I would have normally.
  • Actively recognize at least one happy moment every day.
    • Happiness is about perspective and that is definitely a choice. Acknowledging even the smallest things that make me smile can shift my energy.
  • It never looks like you expect.
    • So be open to any and all possibilities.
  • " I'm a .... Well, I'm a mixed bag really. A jack of all trades, master of none."
    • I still hate the question, "So what do you do?" because I've never been able to answer it with just one thing. I'm okay with that now though.

     Sooooo what better way to commemorate a 2 Season Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious year than to celebrate in equally radical conditions... the heat of Middle East during Ramadan of course! We are off on Saturday to Abu Dhabi, taking a day trip to Dubai on Monday (my birthday) and back at Heathrow Wednesday morning. This is one time when I can officially say I have absolutely no expectations. I've done my research naturally, made my list of Must-Sees and packed a non-offensive wardrobe. The rest, as they say, is rust and stardust! I am taking a new camera for the occasion (thanks to my parents) so I may not post all the pictures until we get back, but I'll post some previews on Facebook and Twitter as per usual. 

Bring it 34!

Till next time....
Love, Hugs, and 'Other Drugs'